


a mirage of ecstasy (falling for the pleasure)

by absolutemperor4 (ShadoWolf55)



Series: Clexa Week 2019 [7]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexaweek2019, Dark, Day 7, F/F, Firefighter AU, Firefighter Lexa, Free day, Greys anatomy au, Marine Corps, Minor Costia/Lexa, Pining, Some Fluff, Surgeon Clarke, station 19 au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 05:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17995733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadoWolf55/pseuds/absolutemperor4
Summary: so I go in with guns blazing and ideas on fire"Love is your biggest strength, but also your biggest weakness."When an ex-marine joins the Seattle Fire Department, things get heated. She meets a surgeon from Grey-Sloan memorial (who is also a part-time artist) and suddenly, everything that matters changes. Some things are forgivable, some are not. Some people are worth it, some are not. Love knows no limits, but love also knows pain and suffering. This is the tale of two people who were always meant to be together.(day 7 : free day)





	a mirage of ecstasy (falling for the pleasure)

**Author's Note:**

> This series will be written to some of my favourite song (from lesbian pop to dramatic electronic pop). This chapter is only the prelude and it's not much. Don't get your expectations up too high because I still have some doubts about this.
> 
> The first part is written in Lexa's POV. Please enjoy!

Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.

Being in the Corps taught me many, many things, some much more important than others. But the one line that resonated with me the most was the first thing I was ever taught. My mentor at that time had forced me to commit it to memory, because even if I forgot everything that was drilled in me, I was to never forget this. "Don’t give up, keep moving", she had said, "Even if there is a less than one percent chance of succeeding, keep fighting for it. Because in war, the moment you stop, the moment you decide to drop everything and run away, you die." I had believed it full heartedly, if it had kept her strong for so long, I knew it would be my saving grace when the time came.

A part of me used to wish I had paid more attention to my parents. A part of me wish I haven't been so playful and rebellious. My parents were not like most parents, most parents went to their kid's matches, most parents would take their children out on weekend regardless of their age. Most parents wouldn't be away from home pretty much every day of the year. Yet, mine were always busy, "the business season never ends, Alexandria", they had said and when I was younger, I believed it. It had always been me and my best friend, Anya. She lived next doors and her parents were the best people in the world. They were the ones who turned up to my games, they were the ones who took me out on weekends with Anya and Lincoln, they were the ones who were always there for me, who knew everything I've been through. They only ever wanted me to be happy and healthy. My parents on the other hand had the highest expectations you could ever give a teenager. When they realised they had a daughter, not a son, they were outrageous. They had wanted me to take over their company, but a woman never could, according to them. Which led to me being expected to get into a prestigious college, go on the path of becoming a lawyer and find a successful man (that they approved to become the one to take over the company) to wed.

I would like to say I didn’t disappoint them and I held my word, except here I am, standing in front of a mirror, looking into my reflection, a long-sleeved midnight blue coat, white peaked cap and a gun slung over my shoulder. (Not to mention the girlfriend I used to have before they disowned me in a huff. I haven't heard from them for years, they probably even forgot about my existence.) I mean, I definitely am a huge disappointment to them.

They never thought I would ever get into the army. Honestly, neither did I. I guess when the love of my life left me for good, deciding to enlist to try and find some meaning in the Corps seemed like a good idea. Besides, Lincoln was in the army and Anya was a medic there. I wasn't going to be lonely there. And I'm definitely glad I did. Because this had been a turbulent journey through happiness and despair and nothing short of struggles and pain.

When I first joined recruit training, no one took me seriously. No surprises there. None of them thought I would even make it through the boot camp. It was, "Girls shouldn't be in the army, they should be at home, looking after the house and the kids!" and "You're so small, you don't even have muscles. How are you going to carry the backpacks and the guns!" Bloody sexist jerks. Maybe if they paid more attention to the lessons instead of insulting me, they would realise I'm the strongest there out of everyone. The Drill Instructors there weren't helping the situation. In fact, I probably received the harshest comments from them. However, I finished first each time, every physical test, every training session. The Crucible had been the worst memories for some recruits but it was where I truly broke all limits, all expectations, all boundaries.

My journey had been tough but here I am, standing in formation, getting prepared to be promoted to Staff Sergeant. My platoon didn't even know I was going to be the one, they all thought the promotion was going to this smug bastard, Bellamy Blake. He had bullied me countless times until I showed him my true capabilities and he has backed off for a while now. I always knew he was going to compete for the Staff Sergeant position. He had been serving for a much longer time that I had. My promotion had been a special case (I was never told the reason but they had said I was the best candidate for the position) since most would have to wait nearly 10 years to have a shot at such a promotion.

The ceremony began and the Sergeant Major (much to everyone's surprise) came to address the platoon.

"This month, a single Marine will be promoted. It will be the only Staff Sergeant promotion of the year. This Marine has by far been the best Marine I've ever met, polite, well mannered, tough and always ready to serve others. This Marine is the most deserving of this position and I believe that they will be able to lead the Marine Corps best." He looked up at all of us and I could feel his small smile directed at me.

"The Marine being promoted to Staff Sergeant is Alexandria Woods."

I walked to the front as my platoon stared dumbfounded at me. Marines from other platoons who had dropped by were cheering in the background. It was common knowledge, everyone except those jerks I had unfortunately been forced to group with, liked me. The look of disbelief on Bellamy Blake's face had to be the greatest gift that year. His smug smile had scrunched up into a unimpressed scowl, his mates were comforting him discretely and he snarled angrily at me. I for one gave my widest smile as I saluted and shook the Sergeant Major's hand.

"Good job Woods, you deserved it."

"Thank you, sir."

He pinned my rank on my uniform and I returned back to formation. We were promptly dismissed and my mates from the other platoons ran to me. There was some cheering and congratulations before we were forced to disperse. As I returned to my bunk, Bellamy stopped me in my way. I stared him down as he sized me up with his eyes. By now, I was used to that repulsive glint in his eyes whenever he looked at me.

"Congratulations," He grumbled before walking away.

I grinned. Today was certainly a good day.

xxx

Just a week after my promotion, my platoon was called up for patrolling. Everything had been smooth sailing, until we noticed the enemy base just miles away from our own base. We had planned to return and report it but they started attacking us. One of the guys had radioed our Master Sergeant while we split up and went into hiding. Everyone knew to stay low, stay hidden and wait for the command. I was briefly informed of the reason for this surprise attack and told back up was going to arrive. We were to hold our position and avoid being caught in a crossfire we shouldn't be a part of.

It hadn't been that easy. The enemy found us and started shooting. Many of my men were able to fight back, until they started attacking us with grenades and machine guns. Back up was nearly reaching our position and I had at least 3 men after me. I ran as fast as I could but I was shot in the leg and the searing pain was slowing me down. The men took hold of me and forced me into a back of their truck and left.

I was being kidnapped. A million thoughts were running across my mind and none of them were pleasant. My main focus was to escape. I quietly moved around the back of the van. Those men were stupid enough not to leave someone behind with me. I managed to find a couple bandages and alcohol stored in a cupboard. I poured some alcohol over my wound before wrapping the bandage over it. It hurt like hell but I tried my best to stay quiet. I grabbed as many provisions as I could as well as the nearest weapon, (seriously, did they even know the fundamentals to kidnapping someone? Rule 1, never leave them alone. Rule 2, never leave them alone with resources and a gun.)

The van slowed to a stop and I looked through the tiny hole in the van. We were in the middle of nowhere. They probably drove me out here to kill me. I grabbed a gun and slid it into my back pocket and picked the other two on the floor. I waited patiently for them to unlock the van and prepared myself to aim and fire. The door click open and there stood one of them. I quickly look at his face to make sure it wasn't a member of the Corps before firing the shot. It went through the head and he collapsed. I tumbled out of the van and picked myself out, quickly escaping before they could capture me again. The gunshot definitely attracted the other two because they came running towards me while firing their guns. I managed to shoot one of them down and went for the other. They both collapsed on the ground and it was only then did I realise one of them had shot me in the shoulder and a bullet had been fired straight at my chest. I clutched my chest in pain and stumbled back to the van, trying to apply as much first aid as I could to myself. I lay there for a while and tried to catch my breath. That had been a mortifying experience. I went over to the drivers seat and started the van. I quickly took a look at the map and to my pleasure, the Marine Corps base was clearly marked in the centre.

The van however, did not last long because the fuel died out pretty quickly. They had probably only stocked sufficient for a two way trip. The pain was getting worse and there wasn't anything to lessen it. I just had to get back to base as quickly as I could. I fell onto the sand the moment I got out of the van.

_Get knocked down, get back up._

I stretched out my hand, feeling the rough sand scraping against my skin. My body was on fire as I dragged myself forward bit by bit. Another sharp pain tore through my chest as I bit back the scream and kept going. I could barely feel my legs at this point and my throat was severely parched. All around me were just lifeless bodies in that familiar uniform and that familiar smell of burnt skin. From a distance, I could see a pool of water in the shades. I knew it was just a mirage but my water-starved brain couldn’t care less. It was the only thing that was keeping me going right now. All the previous lesson I had were running through my head and I was trying to figure out a way to survive. I ran scenarios, trying to keep my mind occupied with images and ideas (even if they were all bad) rather than the pain that was exploding everywhere.

I crawled through the sand, picking myself up only to fall face flat again. The wounds had probably stopped bleeding but I was afraid they were infected. One single bottle of alcohol could only do that much. As night fell, I flipped myself on my back and stared in the starless night. I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out alive. I wasn’t sure if anyone would come and save me. I could feel myself losing hope, even if I didn't want to end up stranded in the middle of the desert. I rummaged through my pocket and found the photograph that was tattered and torn, pressing the photo to my heart. Her name is Costia and she is the world to me. She had been the only person that had mattered to me for 3 years. She kept me grounded and had been my only reason to live back when my world came crashing down. Sure, she had destroyed a part of me years ago but she was slowly piecing everything back together again. And she was back in Washington, waiting for me and I knew I wanted to get back to her safely in one piece.

_Get knocked down, get back up._

I tore some cloth off my clothes and tried my best to change the stained bandage. I tried to get on both feet, stumbling through the desert for a couple hours until I could no longer bear the pain in my legs. I resorted to dragging myself forward inch by inch, praying and hoping that someone, somewhere would see me and get me out of the sand. The journey seemed to take over, I don’t even know how I managed to return to base considering the state of my mind and the multiple injuries I had suffered, but I did. Against all odds, I had escaped and saved myself. I pulled myself through the gates, once again getting up on both feet shakily. People were running towards me and carrying me into the base. I could hear my Master Sergeant reassuring me while he barked out orders. Someone was removing the bandages and poured something searing hot on my skin. I cried out in pain as tried my best to stay still. The last thing I could remember was Anya by my side before my body finally gave way.

At least I made it out, alive. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, im on [tumblr](https://absolutemperor.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/absoultemperor4)
> 
> always appreciating any comments! i currently only have a rough outline, so suggestions and ideas for future chapters are welcomed!  
> mood boards can be found [here](https://absolutemperor.tumblr.com/post/183117832477/clexa-week-19-mood-boards).


End file.
